The Power of Play | Marriage Mondays

Hiking in North Georgia mountains for Carols 40th.

Today's #marriagemondays post is a bit playful! Because playing together is powerful!  Ok. So this sounds silly, but it's so true.  Some call it "recreational companionship". We just call it having fun together. When we first met (back in high school...we'll save that story for another post), Allen was a surfer (and still is).  Although I (Carol) had never surfed, but was certainly no stranger to the beach, I began becoming more interested in Surfing...paying a bit more attention to the different style of boards, the waves, which ones were clean (aka: surfable), and which ones were blown out...you get the idea.  I did try it a few times but after a few scary incidents of being tossed about by waves and dragged under and knocked on the head by the board (ouch!), I decided I could still take an interest in my man's hobby...just from a different perspective.... from the shore! And I do! When Allen surfs, I can be found soaking up some Vitamin D AND watching him catch waves.  Even after all these years together, when he catches a wave, he still looks up to see if I saw it. So sweet!  It is super important for me to connect with him in this way. So sometimes I catch it on camera, and other times, I just catch his eye and give him a bug thumbs up & a smile.  He smiles...then is off to catch the next epic wave!

So, we may have lost some of you by now. You may be thinking that we are the silliest couple in the world.  And you may just be right. But it works for us.  This is a small way we can connect with each other in a way that no one else can connect with us.  Allen doesn't look to see if the skinniest blonde on the beach saw him catch a wave...he looks to see if I  noticed.  If ya think that doesn't make me feel like a million bucks...what girl wouldn't feel great with a cute surfer watching for her to cheer him on? Ain't I lucky?

Even though the beach is one of our favorite  places to be together, there  are plenty of other ways we connect with each other. Here are just a few:

• Kayaking
• Mountain biking
• Hiking
• Walks on the beach..especially at night
• Stargazing - holding each other close is a must for this one. hee-hee

So, none of these may be your thing.  And that's okay.  We want you to find your own way to adventure together. Some couples prefer disc golf. Some like to play basketball. Some like to cook together. Others like to go to concerts together.  Whatever it is, we just want to encourage you to have fun together. Carve out just a little bit of time weekly (or monthly at the least) to adventure together. Your bond will grow stronger through this, as ours has. There are so many things in daily life that pull you apart (finances, parenting, running a business together, busy schedules, and of course conflicts).  It's so important to not let your marriage run on empty & adventuring  together is like refueling your marriage.  It helps  you connect with each other and brings fresh perspective at times.   You will never regret the time you put into your marriage.  It's one of the greatest investments you can make - for you, for your children, your grandchildren and for those watching.

So get out there & be a little bit silly together! Find ways to connect and enjoy each other's company. If you're not sure where to start, you could begin by each making a list of your favorite activities, then picking 1 or 2 from that list that you would both enjoy! 

Snuggling at Amicalola Falls State Park in Dahlonega, Georgia

We'd love to hear from you! How do you adventure together, or how do you plan to adventure together? We can't wait to hear how that goes for you.  (oh....slight caveat: There have been times that adventuring together has been challenging - such as mountain biking, or hiking Yosemite, but pushing through that & remembering that you're on the same team & working toward the same goal will help you get through those challenges and get to the enjoying part of the adventure more quickly.  If adventuring together and leaving the daily worries behind feels strange at 1st, don't give up.  Just keep at it and the rewards will come!)

Cheering you on,

ALLEN & CAROL  

If you like this post, you may enjoy reading our other #marriagemondays posts.  If you'd like to receive marriage encouragement in your inbox, we would love for you to subscribe below and that will allow you to be notified first when we post. Then you won't have to miss a beat! Let us know how we can better cheer you on!

Love keeps no records... | Marriage Mondays

Forgive a lot, then forgive again and again.

Choosing to forgive in marriage is crucial!

Yes, we are blessed with an amazing marriage. But we both would be the first to tell you that it hasn't come without its struggles. We have both messed up, numerous times, and had to forgive each other...over and over again.  Sometimes it's the little things we have to forgive  (or sometimes overlook - like the small irritable things)...things like leaving the lights on all the time, or forgiving scratches on vehicles when one has parked too close to the buggys  at Walmart  (oops). Other times, it's the bigger stuff. The times we have unknowingly and unintentionally hurt each other.  Sometimes looking back, we don't have a clue how the little things could have caused such deep pain, but acknowledging that in each other & choosing to forgive has been part of the glue that has held us together.

Sometimes the words "I forgive you" have come out when we least expected it & certainly not planned it.  But something deep inside forces out those words...knowing forgiveness is a purposeful choice and without it, healing can't take place.  I don't know where we would be without forgiveness in our marriage.  Certainly not here...adoring each other more than ever and pushing through hard times to make our marriage stronger. Sometimes one of us needs forgiveness more often than the other but neither of us keeps track. Lord help us, if we did!  We just keep on saying it  (many times after we have hashed it out, communicated well into the night, and come up with a plan for next time)...over & over again and making the choice to give grace & forgiveness ...knowing the other one of us could be in need of it at another time.

Now we also are aware that at times there are much deeper issues that may require intervention and require more time to resolve.  We are certainly not saying that the words "I forgive you" fix everything.  We know that they don't, but  we have also learned that when those words are said, healing can begin.  And as you say them over & over, your heart begins to actually believe it!  It's a strange thing really.

We also want you to know that we know full well that those 3 little words are not easy to get out at times. Seriously yall, sometimes we even feel like we are going to choke on them, but we are here to tell you that every time  you say them, it gets a little bit easier and then lo and behold, it begins to come naturally after awhile.  Crazy, right?

So hang in there & keep saying those words as you hash things out - even if you have to choke them out at times. haha

 Forgiveness makes our marriage stronger & sweeter and it will do the same for yours. Just keep at it!  

Dont forget that we are here for you, to encouragw you in your marriage & cheer you on! You've  got this ! Also, If you want to be sure to get our #marriagemondays posts, one of the following ways should do:

• Subscribe to our Blog and/or
• turn on post notifications from us Instagram,
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• Or do all of the above so you don't miss a beat! Yay!

We can't wait to cheer you on!

Enjoy the Journey!

ALLEN & CAROL

Don't forget to dance! | Marriage Mondays

 I (Carol) really cannot count how many times a good ole country love song has come on the radio (or Pandora....we Love Pandora), and Allen has grabbed me for a quick slow dance while dinner cooks. It melts my butter! It is usually when I am having a tense moment, hurrying & scurrying, trying to "get it all done" (as if that ever really happens...or even matters in the end).  Sometimes it is when I have had an exhausting  day doing Algebra, Latin & Debate with our 3 children (we homeschool), keeping up with laundry, housekeeping, cooking, and managing our business.  Allen will make me stop.what I'm doing, gather me in his arms and dance with me.  Now really...what weary woman can resist that kind of love, I ask you. Not this one. I just melt into his arms, as we sway back and forth.  Sounds crazy, but it works for us.  We love to dance in the kitchen together. After all, the kitchen is where most of life happens for us, AND it's good for our kiddos to see us dancing together in the midst of a stressful day.

 So, there you have it...one of our secrets...dancing in the kitchen together. May sound silly, but it sure does make cooking dinner a lighter load. 😊  Oh...and ladies, there's a catch...are you ready for this?  You have to LET him dance with you.  Dinner can wait a few, so can the crying kids, or your to-do list...your marriage is worth it.

So whether it's Alan Jackson, Dolly Parton or Taylor Swift, put on a love song & dance in the kitchen together. ;)

By the way, if you're looking for some ways to refresh your marriage or even just the spark alive, then our #marriagemondays are for you! For more information on that, see our last post below!   And of there's ever a way we can help encourage you, just let us know. Cheering you on in your marriage is our "why"!  

If you don't want to miss any #marriagemondays tips, you may want to either 

•  Subscribe to our Blog and/or
• turn on post notifications from us Instgram,
• Or be sure to follow us on Facebook.
• Or do all of the above so you don't miss a beat! Yay! 

We can't wait to cheer you on! 

Enjoy the Journey!

ALLEN & CAROL