Do your kids want the marriage you have?/Marriage Mondays


22 years ago, we never sat down and wrote out goals for our marriage, or what we wanted our kids to say about our marriage, or anything like that, but somehow we just knew that we wanted to stay best friends and enjoy each other for the rest of our lives.  We somehow knew 1 thing was a must...

We knew we had to be very intentional about keeping our marriage strong each and every day!

Although we had not had any training on this,  we just knew what we wanted and went after it (most days anyway. Hehe).  Well,  this year, on our 22nd anniversary (last weekend), it all paid off!!!   Much to our surprise, our sweet (almost children wrote out 22 beautiful things that they see in our marriage in cute little tiny hearts  and left these little notes all around the house for us. What?!!!  BEST. GIFT.  EVER!!!!

We were totally blown away by what they see in our relationship and it has been such an eye opener for us. It makes us want to work even harder to keep fighting for our marriage.  So, we wanted to take this opportunity to remind you that your kids are watching your marriage, whether you know it or not.  They see the little ways you look at each other, talk to each other and talk about each other (hopefully its good talk :)  They don't miss a beat. So be careful in your marriage and dont fool yourselves into thinking that your little ones won't pick up on sarcasm, or negativity,  or distrust,  or even...dislike. They are watching and catching it all...every smile, every hug, every encouraging word, every date, every love note!

So without further adieu,  we are so delighted to share with you the 22 notes they wrote ( So, so dear to our hearts yall!). Drum roll please....
1.  You snuggle (our favorite!!)
2.  You learn to agree on things (tough one but we try)
3.  You two always support each other (we know we don't always get this right but are so thankful they notice this)
4.  You make each other happy (awww)
5.  You set aside time for each other 
6.  You dont keep secrets (true, true, true!!!)
7. You still date each other 

8.You are best friends (crazy but true...we'd rather hang out with each other than anyone else. We are total besties.  Heehee)

9. You guys are the best example of a healthy marriage (sweetest compliment)

10.  You communicate (we went thru some tough times to work on this one, but thats a whole other post)
11. Your kids want the marriage you 2 have  (Icing on the cake!!!)
12. You look back on memories together
13. You both LOVVVVVEEE each other
14. You hold each other up
15. You believe in each other
16 You pray for each other (none of the others would matter without this one!)

17.  You fill each other with confidence
18. You both work hard to keep your marriage strong
19.You know how to make each other smile

20. You build each other up

21. You both love the Lord (without the Lords love, we wouldn't even know how to love each other!)

22.  You kiss alot  (Haha...we totally made this one be honest, we have been reading these for a week all thru the house and the tape is no longer sticky. Lost # 22. Bummer! LOL)

Are those just not the sweetest things you've ever read?! 

So, whats the take away on all this?  We didn't just share this to brag on our kids (although they are pretty awesome!).  We really wanted yall to take the opportunity to reflect in your own marriage and see if there are things in your marriage that you DONT want to your kids to see exemplified.  We give you permission this week to take time out of your busy schedule - together - and make a top 10 list..

  • top 10 things you DONT want in your marriage and
  • top 10 things you DO want FOR your marriage

What do you want your kids to say about you in 10 or 20 years?  We (obviously) are still growing and learning right along with each of you.  We have to continue to dig deep and communicate thru the hard times and love on each other, even when its tough.  We certainly have not "arrived" and know we will always be growing in our marriage, but we sure do love encouraging each of you in your marriages and sharing with you what we are learning in ours.

Thanks for letting us share and be a small part of your lives. We are so grateful!

Cheering you on,

Allen & Carol