So this may seem like a silly post, but it's essential to our marriage, nonetheless. Okay. Yes. Brushing our teeth is essential to our marriage (ha-ha), but that's not quite what we are talking about. So here's the story about what toothpaste has to do with keeping our marriage strong:
Years ago, Allen and I attended a marriage retreat with our church at Jekyll Island. We learned so much, but here was the main take away for us. The speakers (a husband & wife team...cant recall who, sadly), told us about how they do small things to remind each other that they are thinking of one another. One of the things they mentioned is that whoever gets to the toothbrushes first at night, before bed, puts the toothpaste on them both. Cute, right? :) They then went on to say that one night one of them went in to find that the other had brushed their teeth and not made both toothbrushes. Say what?! That was the moment they knew...their marriage was in trouble. Sounds crazy, right? Of course it wasn't about the toothbrush...it was about what it symbolized. It symbolized that they were no longer willing to put the other one first and that the little things they always did to care for each other were slipping away. Heartbreaking. That's where it begins though. Ever heard of the song Slow Fade by Casting Crowns?
From then on, Allen and I decided that as small as it seemed, we would begin fixing each other's toothbrushes. Now of course we know that it is totally not necessary for all maried couples to make each others toothbrushes in order to have a great marriage. For us though, it continues to be a reminder to each other that we WILL put each other first...even when (no, especially when) we don't want to. It's also just a simple reminder that we love each other deeply.
Confession time: We are not always that cuddly-snuggly couple you see on social media (although cuddling really is our favorite - haha). Sometimes we really don't want to put each other first and serve each other, but our marriage depends on it...so we do!
So you see, it's not really about the big investments you make in your marriage (although those are wonderful too - ie: a marriage retreat, a cruise, flowers, gifts, etc), but it's more about all the little deposits you put into your marriage bank. There are so many stressors that make withdrawals that it's vital to not just make one huge deposit each year, but rather smaller deposits throughout the days and weeks. Then when you do make that really big deposit, it's just a bonus and you're not overdrawn.
Here are a few ideas to get you started on showing each other you care enough to put your spouse first:
1. Restock the toilet paper (ha-ha...and even better, hang it the way your spouse likes it...under or over? LOL)
2. Watch a chic flick or dude "flick" with each other (even if its not your fave.)
3. Fix each other's coffee...yes, pleeezz!!
4. Do your spouse's least fav chore - oh yeah!
5. Pick up after your spouse without expectations or complaining (Is that a tough one for anyone but us? ;)
You get the idea. Those are just starters. Need more ideas? Check out this post by Allen! Surely, though you can come up with some awesome ways to care for and love each other! And if you can't come up with your own ideas, feel free to adopt ours and start making each other's toothbrushes. Hee-Hee!
Cheering you on!
Allen & Carol