Who fills your cup? / Marriage Mondays


First of all, we want to state loudly and boldly that our beautiful marriage is only possible because Jesus Christ is at the center of it. We strongly believe that without His love for us, there is no way we could love each other the way we need to.

Okay, now that we have established that, we wanted to share more on this subject of who fills our cups...who truly satisfies our souls. Now it's no secret that we LOVE being together! We have so much fun together - adventuring, laughing, cuddling! We really would rather be together than anywhere else.  Cheesy, but true. Ha-ha.

However, early on in our marriage, I think we both really thought we were supposed to make each other happy.  We spent much time trying to make the other one happy...not because we felt like we had to, but because we just wanted to.  We love seeing each other smile. Why not, right?

But what we didn't realize  is that there is a deep hole inside each of us that was only meant to be filled by one, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ.   As we have matured and grown in our marriage, we have learned that neither of us can MAKE the other one happy...and guess what? It's not our job to make the other happy or satisfied. And believe me, we have tried plenty of times and then been crazy disappointed when we failed.  Then as we grew, we learned 2 things:

1. We have to choose to be happy (thanks for those wise words, Dad); and

2. Only God can truly satisfy our souls. 


Wanna know what's truly going to make you happy in your marriage? Serving each other and giving to each other...setting your own desires aside for the sake of the other. After all, that's what  Christ did for us, right?

If you're looking for your spouse to be the source of your happiness,  to satisfy your soul, to fill your cup, it will never fully happen. Why? Because your spouse is human and imperfect, as we all are.  Those are unrealistic expectations (which we will discuss in another post). Marriage was never intended to be what fills you up. It's a representation of the way Christ loves us.

So we realize this is not at all the message the world tells you, but the world doesn't know how to make lasting marriages either.  Only striving for the example that Christ laid out for us - to serve each other/give up ourselves for each other - can make a strong marriage that lasts and is truly satisfying.

So go ahead and give it a try. We challenge you to see if serving your spouse doesn't satisfy your soul & fill your cup, more than relying on your spouse to make you happy. It's worth a shot, right?   

Cheering you on,

Allen & Carol