Forgive a lot, then forgive again and again.
Yes, we are blessed with an amazing marriage. But we both would be the first to tell you that it hasn't come without its struggles. We have both messed up, numerous times, and had to forgive each other...over and over again. Sometimes it's the little things we have to forgive (or sometimes overlook - like the small irritable things)...things like leaving the lights on all the time, or forgiving scratches on vehicles when one has parked too close to the buggys at Walmart (oops). Other times, it's the bigger stuff. The times we have unknowingly and unintentionally hurt each other. Sometimes looking back, we don't have a clue how the little things could have caused such deep pain, but acknowledging that in each other & choosing to forgive has been part of the glue that has held us together.
Sometimes the words "I forgive you" have come out when we least expected it & certainly not planned it. But something deep inside forces out those words...knowing forgiveness is a purposeful choice and without it, healing can't take place. I don't know where we would be without forgiveness in our marriage. Certainly not here...adoring each other more than ever and pushing through hard times to make our marriage stronger. Sometimes one of us needs forgiveness more often than the other but neither of us keeps track. Lord help us, if we did! We just keep on saying it (many times after we have hashed it out, communicated well into the night, and come up with a plan for next time)...over & over again and making the choice to give grace & forgiveness ...knowing the other one of us could be in need of it at another time.
Now we also are aware that at times there are much deeper issues that may require intervention and require more time to resolve. We are certainly not saying that the words "I forgive you" fix everything. We know that they don't, but we have also learned that when those words are said, healing can begin. And as you say them over & over, your heart begins to actually believe it! It's a strange thing really.
We also want you to know that we know full well that those 3 little words are not easy to get out at times. Seriously yall, sometimes we even feel like we are going to choke on them, but we are here to tell you that every time you say them, it gets a little bit easier and then lo and behold, it begins to come naturally after awhile. Crazy, right?
So hang in there & keep saying those words as you hash things out - even if you have to choke them out at times. haha
Forgiveness makes our marriage stronger & sweeter and it will do the same for yours. Just keep at it!
Dont forget that we are here for you, to encouragw you in your marriage & cheer you on! You've got this ! Also, If you want to be sure to get our #marriagemondays posts, one of the following ways should do:
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Enjoy the Journey!
ALLEN & CAROL