marriage encouragement

BEING HAPPY VS. BEING MARRIED | MARRIAGE MONDAYS

BEING HAPPY VS. BEING MARRIED | MARRIAGE MONDAYS

Well this past week has been a bit of a doozy for us. After traveling for Christmas and then again for New Years, we were so excited to finally have a week at home and relax a bit and tackle a long house projects list. We had all kinds of house projects on the to-do list and were ready to tackle them! Bring it on! That’s when we hit a bump in the plan.

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Peace in the Storm | Marriage Mondays

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Words cant really begin to describe what's in my heart and what a tough few weeks it's been. Watching so many people’s lives be so devastated from the Hurricane Michael has been completely heartbreaking.  And then I sort of got so immersed and lost in disaster relief that I let the 1 year anniversary of Mama's death sneak up on me.  I knew it was coming but just didn’t allow myself to focus on it too much. Disaster relief has been such a balm to my soul. Truly! Wednesday I had the sweet opportunity to take supplies to my aunt’s aunt (which well...she claims me as family because well...ummm..she used to change my diapers. LOL. And she's known my grandparents longer than I have. So Yes! She’s family!). It was such an absolute delight to travel to Cottondale, Florida and meet up with her and share all the love (AKA supplies that other beautiful people donated) with her and her family. We got to sit and eat lunch together (thanks to my precious Father-in-law & Mother-in-law, who graciously drove us there & treated us all to lunch) ..and we shared the most precious conversations and tears over a Hardees burger. Imagine that! She shared her horrific storm story with me and also some sweet memories of my grandparents (who have both passed on).  It was such a blessing! Not sure the Cottondale Hardees has ever seen such love and tears in their little restaurant.

But that is NOT the main point of this post. I'm getting to that tho.  hehe.  The next day ended up being the 1 yr anniversary of Mamas death. Ugh! I thought I was mostly prepared for it. Umm. Not at all!!!  The day was full of errands and busyness with a few sweet moments of remembrance sprinkled in between (and I do mean a few...not quite enough for me, as it turns out). I am quite the processor and I really need time to process grief. I am not able to stuff it for long. All that to say that by the end of that day, I was a hot mess...emotionally. I just was in a deep funk! Sometimes that just happens with grief.  By the time my head hit my pillow, the tears were still just a flowin. And here it is..the point of the post...guess what my incredible man did?! HE PRAYED OVER ME!!! Yes, he did!!! And I cant even begin to tell you the peace that flooded my soul instantly! I had been anxious and emotional all day and in that very moment, I felt nothing but peace! Really! It was so beautiful! 

Soo...here it is..short and sweet…Husbands, pray over your wives! We need it! We really do! It is one of the best marriage investments you can ever make. And on that note, (prepare yourself for a silly shift)… also… eat ice cream together! Haha. Some serious encouragement and silly encouragement! Heehee. Eating ice cream together is what you would have found us doing tonight. It was a sweet reward for pushing thru some crazy few weeks together.

Just don't forget each other and to invest in each other. Pray for each other and pray OVER each other. It’s huge! Really! And sneak away together when you can and most definitely… eat ice cream together (with lots of toppings)! Especially after a crazy season!

So there it is! Our best marriage advice for you this week! LOL. Keepin it real and…

Cheering you on, 

Allen & Carol

Generosity in Marriage

Generosity in Marriage

The past few months have literally flown by. Between keeping up with our kids busy schedules, our own busy schedules, pouring into friends’ lives and squeezing in some get-away-family-camping time we have been missing the opportunity to post for Marriage Mondays. But…seasons!

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The Four Seasons of Marriage | FALL

The Four Seasons of Marriage | FALL

Fall is a time for new routines,  new schedules,  new rhythyms!  A time to take inventory and have a bit of a fresh start… the Fall Season of Marriage is a time for us to BE INTENTIONAL!  A time to really focus on what we will do to grow our marriage and strengthen our marriage and make it a  priority! 

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Who fills your cup? / Marriage Mondays

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First of all, we want to state loudly and boldly that our beautiful marriage is only possible because Jesus Christ is at the center of it. We strongly believe that without His love for us, there is no way we could love each other the way we need to.

Okay, now that we have established that, we wanted to share more on this subject of who fills our cups...who truly satisfies our souls. Now it's no secret that we LOVE being together! We have so much fun together - adventuring, laughing, cuddling! We really would rather be together than anywhere else.  Cheesy, but true. Ha-ha.

However, early on in our marriage, I think we both really thought we were supposed to make each other happy.  We spent much time trying to make the other one happy...not because we felt like we had to, but because we just wanted to.  We love seeing each other smile. Why not, right?

But what we didn't realize  is that there is a deep hole inside each of us that was only meant to be filled by one, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ.   As we have matured and grown in our marriage, we have learned that neither of us can MAKE the other one happy...and guess what? It's not our job to make the other happy or satisfied. And believe me, we have tried plenty of times and then been crazy disappointed when we failed.  Then as we grew, we learned 2 things:

1. We have to choose to be happy (thanks for those wise words, Dad); and

2. Only God can truly satisfy our souls. 

....

Wanna know what's truly going to make you happy in your marriage? Serving each other and giving to each other...setting your own desires aside for the sake of the other. After all, that's what  Christ did for us, right?

If you're looking for your spouse to be the source of your happiness,  to satisfy your soul, to fill your cup, it will never fully happen. Why? Because your spouse is human and imperfect, as we all are.  Those are unrealistic expectations (which we will discuss in another post). Marriage was never intended to be what fills you up. It's a representation of the way Christ loves us.

So we realize this is not at all the message the world tells you, but the world doesn't know how to make lasting marriages either.  Only striving for the example that Christ laid out for us - to serve each other/give up ourselves for each other - can make a strong marriage that lasts and is truly satisfying.

So go ahead and give it a try. We challenge you to see if serving your spouse doesn't satisfy your soul & fill your cup, more than relying on your spouse to make you happy. It's worth a shot, right?   

Cheering you on,

Allen & Carol