Stand By Your Man | Marriage Mondays

I know. Now your humming the song, right? Well, I guess it depends on what generation you are.  I'm really not THAT old (just kidding mom ;), but I have to admit that I am indeed an old soul. I do love me some Loretta Lynn and Tammy Wynette! Okay, so the title of that song probably sounds hokey, but Tammy Winette may have been onto something. 

Now before I lose any of you, let me explain what I mean.   There will be times you won't want to hash it out and hang in there with your guy, but just deciding ahead of time that you will do it anyway makes it easier when the time does comes to decide. Decision done! No need to make that decision in the heat of the moment. 

 Stand by him in your thoughts, actions and especially your words. Our guys need our affirmation and encouragement.  Sometimes they carry a pretty heavy load, but they may not let on that the burden gets heavy.  However, when we come alongside and let them know we are cheering them on and believe in them, it makes a huge difference in easing that load and giving them that extra push they need to get thru. I'll be the first to admit that I do have the advantage of having a cheerleader mentality. After all, I was always the die-hard cheerleader in high school who thought our football team could pull out a win in the last 2 minutes, even if they were losing by 3 touchdowns. Go ahead and laugh. Haha. I laugh at myself thinking about it.  However that kind of mentality has served me well in our marriage.  I think the world of Allen and as far as I'm concerned, there ain't nothin that man of mine can't do.  He is absolutely incredible! Oh...did I mention I'm also a romanticist (just in case you haven't already figured that one out).  Works for us though. Keeps us a-dreamin and a-lovin!

It also helps that Allen values me. He values my opinions, my dreams, my goals, my emotions. He simply values me, and that just endears my heart to him even more and makes me want to be his biggest fan!  Even in his failures, he still needs to know that his wife believes in him...even if it's just to cheer him on in getting back up again.  Just that can help him be the man God called him to be.  The influence we have on our men can not be over emphasized. It is so important for us to be on their team!

So now I'm gonna set my pom poms down for a few mintues and share some practical ways you can stand by your man.

Here are some quick and easy things to say to to encourage your husband:

1. I believe in you!

2. You're doing a great job!

3. I'm proud of you!

4. I love being your wife!

5. You've got this!

6. You have big muscles.  (That has got to make him smile, at least).

7. You've got a cute tush! Hahaha. Ok. That one might just make him laugh, but laughter lightens the load too.  For more on that, check out this previous post.

8. I'm your biggest fan!

9. There's no one more handsome than you.

10. You're the only one for me.

So you get the idea.  It doesn't take much effort to affirm our guys and let them know we are proud of them (even if they don't do things the way we would do them. Although sometimes, if we can take a step back and get a different perspective, we might even be able to see that their way is pretty awesome too!).  It's the little things we say and do that can really help them carry those heavy burdens.

So come on ladies! We can do this! Let's grab those pom poms and cheer our guys on (even on the days we don't feel like it)! It won't always be easy but totally worth the investment!

Cheering you on,

Allen & Carol  (mostly Carol on this one)

In Hot Pursuit | Marriage Mondays

Young Love! Just started dating 1992

When we were high school sweethearts (awww), pursuing each other came as naturally as eating or sleeping.  Because really we all we thought about was each other. We were together as much as possible and then when we weren’t, we were busy wishing we were and thinking of the ways we could be together again or thinking of how wonderful it would be when we were together. (that’s a lot of “together” in a few sentences. Haha) 

Fast forward to this past Sunday, as we sat in church, listening to a sermon, the question began to churn in my mind, “What are we busy pursuing?”  That of course led to the next thoughts:  “Do Allen and I pursue each other and a strong marriage more than we pursue our own individual interests and concerns?”  Let’s face it. It would be so easy to get going our own separate ways and forget to pursue each other.  After all, we are very busy in this season of life:  Working 2 jobs, one of those involves running a business, homeschooling our 3 beautiful children, helping care for our parents at times,  and managing a household.  How in the world are we supposed to make time to pursue each other?   Even if you’re just starting out in your marriage, it will most likely not come easy, after the first few years.  With college, careers, maybe buying or building a house, staying fit, eating well, and then kids, who has time to pursue each other?  And furthermore, does it matter?  

Try to think back to the time when you were dating each other.  You did everything possible to dote on the one you love and spent time and effort to win their heart.  It was so important for each of you to know the other had you on their mind.  Pursuing each other reminds your spouse that you’re thinking of them and putting them first.  When Allen and I began dating, we were just kids.  I was 18 and he 16 (Yes! I totally robbed the cradle! Not one single regret. I knew a good one when I saw it.)  We both had jobs and were in school but that was the extent of our responsibility really.  We had the time and energy to put into our relationship and to pursue each other.   I used to make Allen these killer brownies!  I have no idea why he thought they tasted so delicious, but all I can figure is that it must have been the love I put into them.  And he used to bring me flowers. Ahh.  See our previous post on “My Feelings aren’t up for Evaluation” for more on how important flowers are to me. Hahaha.  The point is that when you’re first starting out, being thoughtful and considerate of each other seems to come naturally, but as time goes on, it’s something you can either let slip away, or continue to work at.  The question is do you want to have a good marriage or a GREAT marriage?  Letting those little things slip away, that you did when you were dating, will eventually take a toll on your marriage. It may go unnoticed at first, but it will show up eventually.

Some of you may have not pursued each other for so long that you’ve forgotten how. No worries! That’s what we are here for…to refresh your memories! So we have some questions and some ideas to help you be “IN HOT PURSUIT” of each other once again.

Senior Prom 1993

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:         

1.       How did you go after the one you love to begin with?

a.       Cards & Letters?

b.      Chocolates and/or Flowers?

c.       Spending quality time with them?

d.      Leaving them little surprise gifts and notes?

2.       What is your spouse’s Love language?  If you don’t know, there’s a great book called “The Five Love Languages” that can be helpful with that.  We would highly encourage you to read it together and discuss it; then put into practice, loving on each other in a way that fills their love tank.

 Here they are in a nutshell:

a.       Quality Time

b.      Words of Affirmation

c.       Gifts

d.      Acts of Service

e.      Physical Touch

3.        Now that you have the one your soul loves, are you still doing those same things to keep their heart? 

4.       How often are you pursing your spouse and making your marriage the #1 priority?  Nobody else will do it for you.  Your jobs, your kids, your social media habits…they’ll take everything you give them.  Make sure you're giving your marriage the BEST of you! 

HOT PURSUIT IDEAS:

1.       FLIRTwith each other! (hee-hee. This is so under-rated!)

2.       DANCE in the Kitchen (or wherever) to your favorite music together.

3.       Make sure to HUG each other often and hang onto each other (you can often find us holding hands when we are walking around shopping or to and from places. It doesn’t take much effort and is a sweet connection in the midst of busyness)

4.       Put a DATE on the calendar for just the 2 of you, at least once a month (once a week is better, if your schedule allows).  If we can’t get out once a week, we at least make a point to sit together and cuddle and watch a movie or favorite show after the kids are down.  Sometimes this will get us through until we can schedule that date and get out together.

5.       Always greet each other a BIG INTENTIONAL KISS the morning and evening, and anytime you’re leaving each other.  This may same silly, but it really helps keep that spark alive. (OH…and we’re not talking just a peck here.  We’re also not suggesting a make-out session each time you see each other either.  Although that sounds fun, it’s totally unrealistic. Haha.  We’re just saying it’s important to totally stop what you’re doing for a minute, and give your spouse an intentional kiss hello or goodbye for a moment).

Cheering you on!

Allen & Carol

My Feelings Are Not Up For Evaluation / Marriage Mondays

 "My feelings are not up for evaluation".  The first time we heard this, we were at a marriage retreat. Although we had never heard this before, it totally resonated with us and made perfect sense. The fact is that sometimes we feel something that is not logical, or is not the truth. However, in that moment, you don't want to be told you're irrational or unreasonable. That seems to just fuel the flame.  Anyone else with us on that? Especially woman, because we are totally illogical at times (especially when we are emotional). We have found that when one of us approaches the other with a heavy heart, feeling hurt or angry or disappointed, etc, if the other one can simply acknowledge the feelings, it seems to be a good start to resolution.  In the book For Men Only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhann, it is worded this way: "When you address my feelings, you solve my problems."  Yes! Yes! Yes! That's totally it! (Great book by the way...an oldie but a goodie. We learned so much from For Women Only and For Men Only [Feldhann, 2004] Must reads!)

 Please don't misunderstand us. We are not at all saying that you don't have to address the problem as well (and the lack of truth or logic that may be going on).  Those things obviously need to be discussed and addressed. However, beginning by acknowledging the feelings first says, "I care more about your heart than I do anything else."

 This crazy story about us is a good example of this.  About 10 Years ago, we had moved into our new home in our small town. I didn't realize how the transition of living out in the middle of nowhere was affecting me, but I was an exhausted mama of 3,  with no friends in town, running on empty...feeling a bit alone and discouraged...okay and maybe a bit unloved.  I shared this with Allen before he left for work one day.  Good timing, right? Haha.  In my mind, the solution was...wait for it...Flowers!  Hahaha. Isn't that the solution for any girls' problems? Totally kidding here. I know some women don't like them, but this woman does.   In my defense, I really did feel like this would make me feel loved and encouraged and less alone.  The thought of it cracks me up even now.  But nonetheless, feelings are not up for evaluation, right? (We had not learned that yet but we were about to). 

Allen then proceeded to tell me that "Flowers are not in the budget". Whoa! Those were NOT the words my aching heart wanted to hear.  Of course at this point, the tears began! Not because I was a spoiled brat but simply because  (as I told him), I needed to know that I was more important than the budge.  That may sound crazy, but we had been pinching pennies and really working hard to do things right and pay off bills, etc.  So there had not been a lot of "splurges" at that time.  To his credit, he was totally right! Flowers were definitely not in the budget  (the small budget that Allen had done an amazing job with. He always has taken great care of us on 1 income, keeping the bills to a minimum so I can stay home with our 3 amazing kids!). 

 Anyhow, so as I cried, I proceeded to let him know that I did not give a care about the budget  (um...I may have yelled it. Oops).  My heart broke into a million  pieces as he left for work. Poor guy.  He was trying.  He is a patient man! So basically, I FELT: unloved, lonely and discouraged.  However that was NOT the truth! The TRUTH was that I was  (and still am): deeply loved by the most amazing man in the whole world who would give anything for me to know how deep his love his.  The fact also was that we were on a very tight budget with zero wiggle room! However, I needed a tangible demonstration of that love he had for me. 

It ends well though! So my prince charming had the most magnificent bouquet of flowers sent to me that afternoon  with the sweetest note that said, "You're worth blowing the budget for". Awwww. I still smile at the thought of it! I still don't have a clue what he spent on those (and really don't care to know), but my heart felt so ridiculously and abundantly loved in that moment!   It was one of the greatest investments in our marriage that he could have made.  Plus, in that we learned how important validating each others feelings are. What's wonderful lesson that was for us!

So to wrap up, we just wanted to restate that  just because one's feelings may not be logical or truthful doesn't mean they're not valid.  Once those feelings are addressed, then the problem can be addressed and you can get to the good stuff faster ..the making up. Heehee

Cheering you on, 

ALLEN & CAROL  

P.S. Looking for some ways to put the FUN back in your marriage? Check out our post on PLAYING TOGETHER! 

Be an oak | Marriage Mondays

Welcome back to Marriage Mondays!  It’s been wonderful taking time to be with family and friends through the Christmas and New Year holidays, but we are excited to get back to our regular Monday posts.

For today’s post I, Allen, thought I would write about an analogy that God gave me one night before I was to speak at a marriage conference this past year.  Throughout the week of the marriage conference, called CONNECT, we learned of so many hurting marriages and we were so burdened for them.  As I was trying to go to sleep one night, I had this vision of a huge beautiful mighty Live Oak tree.  Being from north Florida, we have a ton of these huge, majestic, old, moss covered Live Oak trees that can be several hundred years old and whenever I see one, I’m always in awe of them. That tree was a representation of what a strong, beautiful, long lasting marriage looks like.

If you think about it, that tree started out as a small, week little sapling. It had fresh green leaves and a smooth trunk. It was cute, but not really catching the attention of people as they traveled by.  Now, many many years later, the tree has a very wrinkled looking trunk, the big thick branches are starting to sag towards the ground because they are so heavy. There is a bunch of Spanish moss covering up the leaves, yet the tree is absolutely stunning to look at. They are revered among the trees in the area and it is actually illegal to cut one down.

It took a long long time for that tree to grow from such a small sapling into the majestic mighty behemoth that stands strong and proud today.  That tree has had to endure countless hurricanes, thunderstorms, deep freezes, insects, loggers to be what it is today.

That’s just like a strong marriage. They don’t just start out being strong from day one and are always strong without having to endure any struggles. As a matter of fact, the more struggles a couple has to endure and make it through, the stronger the marriage.  The limbs of the oak tree have been pulled and cracked and put under all kinds of stress from the storms it’s been through, but each time it heals and is even stronger than before.

Carol and I have a marriage that a lot of people look up to, but we have been through an incredible amount of storms and trials and disappointments and hurts to get where we are today.  Our love is stronger today than it ever has been and that is because we have not given up on each other and we have figured out how to communicate and work through the hard times. That is the secret to a good marriage, communicating through the crap and not ever giving up.  People give up way too easily these days and they don’t realize that what they have really been wanting, is just on the other side of the tough time that they are going through right now. It’s not easy to see, but it’s there! 

When you face a trial in your marriage, and believe us you will, that’s NORMAL, just remember the mighty oak.  Remember it didn’t become strong and beautiful in year one or year ten, it took centuries and it had to stand up to tremendous storms and stresses to be what it is today.  Even though we have been married for 21 years and have a strong marriage, we are also mindful that we are still learning and growing and are just getting started.  Don’t ever think that marriage is easy! It can be amazing, and fun, and satisfying, but it’s always going to take work.  You will always have to be intentional in building up your marriage and defending it and not allowing any enemy to sneak in and tear it apart. 

BE AN OAK

Cheering you on!

Allen & Carol

NO NEED TO BE "BASH"-FUL | Marriage Mondays

So we are not really talking about the shy kind of "bash"ful.  What we are talking about here is the spouse bashing that seems to happen when one is with their friends.  Okay.  So we know that doesn't pertain to all of you, but this has just been on our hearts and we wanted to share it.  Marriage is a no-bashing zone!  This has to be true for many reasons, but here are a few of those reasons.  If you are tempted, we hope this is helpful to you! 

THE FALLOUT OF BASHING:

• It breaks trust
• It breaks unity (connection )
• It totally kills self esteem in your spouse (definitely not what we're going for, right? ;-)
• It Totally makes you lose that "lovin feelin"
• Sadly, it ruins your spouses reputation (Blah! Nobody wants that.)
• Last but not least, it could eventually drive your spouse to look for affirmation elsewhere (This is obviously what we want to avoid at all costs!

So, now that you know the fallout of bashing, we want to help you out with it.  We know it's not always easy to just change a habit. It has to be replaced with something else.  We know that sometimes when you're hanging out with your girlfriends or buds, it sometimes seems just natural to smack talk about your spouse...but there's a better way. We promise you, there is!  And we want to help you! So here are just a few...

WAYS TO BREAK THE BASHING HABIT:

• Practice speaking kind things to & about your spouse. This will help you believe it then speaking it will come more naturally. Yay! Now that's what we want, right?
• If caught in a bashing session, feel free to either excuse yourself or better yet, start sharing something GREAT about your spouse (you know, like how awesome he hung the Christmas lights, or how wonderful she smells - hee hee. We know you can think of a lot of great things!)
• Make a list of 10 things you love about your spouse. Focus on those daily so that next time you're tempted, you can have these things in mind ready to share instead of the negative.
• Remember that neither of you are perfect & never will be. We all have room to grow but we also all have wonderful traits as well.
• Ask yourself how you'd feel if your spouse bashed you.
• Pray - ask God to help you focus on the positive character traits about the one you fell in love with.
• Lastly, Take a good look at yourself.  What's going on inside of you that's making you want to hurt your spouse by bashing?  Maybe you've just had a tough day.  Maybe it makes for a good laugh. Maybe you don't even realize you're doing it.  We just want to encourage you to lift each other up instead. And don't forget that you're on the same team!  For more on that see our post about how Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Now for the good stuff!  We want to share with you the...

BENEFITS OF "BUILDING EACH OTHER UP":

• Speaking well of your spouse will make them want to be a better person. Win-win for all!
• You get to have a deeper connection 
• It Builds trust in your relationship
• It Builds confidence in your spouse
• It Gives your spouse a good reputation
• You're able to help other marriages thrive in this area as well (building up your spouse is contagious, just as bashing him/her is contagious).
• Being loyal to each other makes for a dynamite marriage!

We're sure you can probably think of many more benefits of speaking well of your spouse. These are just to get you started.  As we mentioned before, we know not all struggle with this, but we've seen this tear marriages apart and we just want your marriage to be as beautiful as it can be.  In order for that to happen, the spouse-bashing has to go (but only if you want a great marriage - and we know you do!)  Thanks for letting us speak into your marriage. Keep us the great work!

"Let everything you say be good and helpful so that your words will be an encouragement to those hear them". Ephesians 4:29 NIV

Cheering you on,

ALLEN & CAROL

THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM FOR "IMPROVEMENT" | Marriage Mondays

Some of the times we have bonded the most in  our marriage  have been when we have tackled  projects together.  Projects  such as building a deck, painting a room, building a pallet wall for a bridal show (in a weekend no less. whew!), remodeling a bathroom, even something  simple as rearranging the furniture can strengthen our bond. you may be wondering how in the world that can bring you closer to each other.  So we'll share our most recent little project we  that drew our hearts to each other.

Our latest little project we tackled together was...chopping firewood! What?  Yes indeed! Allen's back has been out this week, and as he recovers, he is limited in physical activity. I really  wanted a fire (there's  finally a chill in the  air in North  Florida  - yay!) and I knew the only way it would happen was for me to chop the wood.   However, never having done it before I knew I would need some assistance. So for this project, Allen was the coach and Carol did the physical labor! I actually did split a few logs with an ax!  Whoop Whoop! But it took quite a while.  Allen had to show me how to hold the ax, how to swing it and where to swing it (just  for the record, I did not hit the same spot twice on any of those logs. Oops. But they did split eventually- haha)

How in the world did that bond us, you may wonder. Well, 1. It forced us to work together  on the same project instead of separate  ones. Life can easily get very busy with both of us going in different directions, if we allow it.  Anyone  else notice  that  too?  Working together also 2. Increased our communication.  Allen needed to communicate clearly and kindly to me in a way I could understand (which of course is quite different than him just telling a guy how to chop wood). I need a bit more gentleness and  encouragement than one of his buddies  would. By the way, he al ways excels at being kind but sometimes  what he says is NOT what I hear. Things get lost in translation you know.  LOL (I feel certain I am not alone in that area). This also meant that I had to practice listening and receiving instruction from him without getting offended. Was it easy? Ummm. No! It was a challenge for us both just a bit, but we found a balance between Allen teaching, me listening, and the wood splitting (albeit not right down the middle). 3. This also gave us an opportunity to believe  in each other & cheer each other on.  Allen believing in me and being patient when I struggled to catch on spurred me on.  Honestly, one of the reasons I love doing projects with Allen is because he believes in me.  He does not belittle me or make me feel dumb. He just encourages me! And BECAUSE he believes I can do it, then so do I!  With the hubby coaching & the wife log-splitting, we were able to push through and in the end take satisfaction in a job well done together and have a nice cozy fire later  on!  There were certainly challenges and differences to overcome in the process, but that just made cuddling by the fire later that much sweeter!

That leads us to share with you one more example...about the time we welded together.  Crazy, right?  We were on a mission trip to Puerto Rico and Allen was in charge of welding a balcony  railing  for a church.  The other men had different jobs and there were only a few ladies on the trip. I was one of them.  The ladies were working in the kitchen, although I really had my heart set on working with Allen.  I knew though that I had no previous experience welding and wasn't sure I would excel at it. Well,  you would be surprised what you can do when someone believes in you and patiently teaches you. That's exactly what Allen did for me.  He gave me a crash course in welding 101.  Although it took me a bit to pick up on it, Allen never gave up on me.  He  kept encouraging me and saying "You can  do  it", even when my finished  project was  much less than perfect. And at the end of the week, I had learned a new skill and Allen and  I had learned yet more communication skills.  In addition, we built a stronger bond that week knowing  that  we had worked together as a team and welded a balcony! Wow! Who does that really? We do! :) Could Allen have built it without me? Absolutely, but it wouldn't  have been as much fun.  I mean we had a lot of fun flirting with each other & stealing kisses in-between welds. Hee-hee. 

We have learned that one of the Keys to doing projects together  is to value each others input. whoa! That's a tough one. after all, Allen is a firstborn perfectionist and I am a "fly by the seat of my pants" baby of my family. We sometimes have very different techniques for tackling  a project.  The coolest things happen when we listen to each other though.  We learn that the other one has great ideas and input and that there can be more than one way to go about something.  One of us learns a new method & the other feels valued. Definitely a win win! 

THE PRIZE IS WORTH THE PRICE! 

Ok so just to recap...

Advantages to doing projects together:

• It builds your bond
• Increases communication skills
• You accomplish something that you can both take pride in
• Opportunity  to encourage each other & believe in each other
• Lastly, you get the chance to flirt with each other! oh yeah!

Keys to doing projects together:

• Believe in each other
• Encourage each other
• Value each others input
• Be patient with each other
• Don't forget to high-five and seal it with a kiss!

Okay. It's your turn now. Get out there and tackle a project together and don't forget to have fun with it!  There will almost certainly be challenges as you work together, but try to remember your end goal - to strengthen  your  bond, not to have a perfect project.   You can do it!

Cheering you on,

ALLEN & CAROL

The Power of Play | Marriage Mondays

Hiking in North Georgia mountains for Carols 40th.

Today's #marriagemondays post is a bit playful! Because playing together is powerful!  Ok. So this sounds silly, but it's so true.  Some call it "recreational companionship". We just call it having fun together. When we first met (back in high school...we'll save that story for another post), Allen was a surfer (and still is).  Although I (Carol) had never surfed, but was certainly no stranger to the beach, I began becoming more interested in Surfing...paying a bit more attention to the different style of boards, the waves, which ones were clean (aka: surfable), and which ones were blown out...you get the idea.  I did try it a few times but after a few scary incidents of being tossed about by waves and dragged under and knocked on the head by the board (ouch!), I decided I could still take an interest in my man's hobby...just from a different perspective.... from the shore! And I do! When Allen surfs, I can be found soaking up some Vitamin D AND watching him catch waves.  Even after all these years together, when he catches a wave, he still looks up to see if I saw it. So sweet!  It is super important for me to connect with him in this way. So sometimes I catch it on camera, and other times, I just catch his eye and give him a bug thumbs up & a smile.  He smiles...then is off to catch the next epic wave!

So, we may have lost some of you by now. You may be thinking that we are the silliest couple in the world.  And you may just be right. But it works for us.  This is a small way we can connect with each other in a way that no one else can connect with us.  Allen doesn't look to see if the skinniest blonde on the beach saw him catch a wave...he looks to see if I  noticed.  If ya think that doesn't make me feel like a million bucks...what girl wouldn't feel great with a cute surfer watching for her to cheer him on? Ain't I lucky?

Even though the beach is one of our favorite  places to be together, there  are plenty of other ways we connect with each other. Here are just a few:

• Kayaking
• Mountain biking
• Hiking
• Walks on the beach..especially at night
• Stargazing - holding each other close is a must for this one. hee-hee

So, none of these may be your thing.  And that's okay.  We want you to find your own way to adventure together. Some couples prefer disc golf. Some like to play basketball. Some like to cook together. Others like to go to concerts together.  Whatever it is, we just want to encourage you to have fun together. Carve out just a little bit of time weekly (or monthly at the least) to adventure together. Your bond will grow stronger through this, as ours has. There are so many things in daily life that pull you apart (finances, parenting, running a business together, busy schedules, and of course conflicts).  It's so important to not let your marriage run on empty & adventuring  together is like refueling your marriage.  It helps  you connect with each other and brings fresh perspective at times.   You will never regret the time you put into your marriage.  It's one of the greatest investments you can make - for you, for your children, your grandchildren and for those watching.

So get out there & be a little bit silly together! Find ways to connect and enjoy each other's company. If you're not sure where to start, you could begin by each making a list of your favorite activities, then picking 1 or 2 from that list that you would both enjoy! 

Snuggling at Amicalola Falls State Park in Dahlonega, Georgia

We'd love to hear from you! How do you adventure together, or how do you plan to adventure together? We can't wait to hear how that goes for you.  (oh....slight caveat: There have been times that adventuring together has been challenging - such as mountain biking, or hiking Yosemite, but pushing through that & remembering that you're on the same team & working toward the same goal will help you get through those challenges and get to the enjoying part of the adventure more quickly.  If adventuring together and leaving the daily worries behind feels strange at 1st, don't give up.  Just keep at it and the rewards will come!)

Cheering you on,

ALLEN & CAROL  

If you like this post, you may enjoy reading our other #marriagemondays posts.  If you'd like to receive marriage encouragement in your inbox, we would love for you to subscribe below and that will allow you to be notified first when we post. Then you won't have to miss a beat! Let us know how we can better cheer you on!

Don't forget to dance! | Marriage Mondays

 I (Carol) really cannot count how many times a good ole country love song has come on the radio (or Pandora....we Love Pandora), and Allen has grabbed me for a quick slow dance while dinner cooks. It melts my butter! It is usually when I am having a tense moment, hurrying & scurrying, trying to "get it all done" (as if that ever really happens...or even matters in the end).  Sometimes it is when I have had an exhausting  day doing Algebra, Latin & Debate with our 3 children (we homeschool), keeping up with laundry, housekeeping, cooking, and managing our business.  Allen will make me stop.what I'm doing, gather me in his arms and dance with me.  Now really...what weary woman can resist that kind of love, I ask you. Not this one. I just melt into his arms, as we sway back and forth.  Sounds crazy, but it works for us.  We love to dance in the kitchen together. After all, the kitchen is where most of life happens for us, AND it's good for our kiddos to see us dancing together in the midst of a stressful day.

 So, there you have it...one of our secrets...dancing in the kitchen together. May sound silly, but it sure does make cooking dinner a lighter load. 😊  Oh...and ladies, there's a catch...are you ready for this?  You have to LET him dance with you.  Dinner can wait a few, so can the crying kids, or your to-do list...your marriage is worth it.

So whether it's Alan Jackson, Dolly Parton or Taylor Swift, put on a love song & dance in the kitchen together. ;)

By the way, if you're looking for some ways to refresh your marriage or even just the spark alive, then our #marriagemondays are for you! For more information on that, see our last post below!   And of there's ever a way we can help encourage you, just let us know. Cheering you on in your marriage is our "why"!  

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Enjoy the Journey!

ALLEN & CAROL